


i need your loving like sunshine

by radicalvodkaaunt



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Javier is in love with Steve but pretending he isnt, M/M, PWP, Swearing, also whilst im here bring steve back to narcos, just some sad boys who are entirely interdependent of one another
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 20:16:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14119971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radicalvodkaaunt/pseuds/radicalvodkaaunt
Summary: Colombia poses a lot of challenges. At first it's the heat, and the thinner air. Then it becomes a blonde man with blue eyes. One is slightly more crushing for Javier than the other.





	i need your loving like sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> My first Narco's fic! Takes place somewhere in Season 1 I suppose. Title is from Everybody's Got To Learn Sometime by The Korgis, give it a listen. And enjoy the fic :).

And somewhere along the line, Javi and Steve had become intrinsically melded into one another, becoming a single unit of entirely individual people. Javi found himself looking forward to the cramped office that was soaked in smoke, because Steve would be there without failure. Because him and Steve worked, plain and simple. They had moulded to know one another like the ocean knows the beach, and each movement was predicted by the other. Each was overwhelmed by the other. They gave each other stability, and purpose and Javi wouldn’t mind a chance to lap at Steve’s skin the way the sea does the sand.

So Javi pours the whiskey just as Steve moves his cup to meet it. It was like their minds were interconnected, Javi was sure he could sometimes feel Steve’s thoughts, like an impulse from electrical waves and synapses that Steve has somehow infiltrated with gringo technology. Or maybe it is what Colombia does to a person, it changes a person. The way Javi’s jaw was set had changed, probably from the vast increase of cigarettes he’d started smoking. He picks up a smouldering cigarette from the ashtray, having no idea if it was originally his or Steve’s, and breathing it in anyway, so he can feel the burn lick his lungs.

It wasn’t enough.

“It’s late,” he mumbles, because it was, and only a desk lamp was keeping the world alight. The dark was creeping in from the corners, so all Javi could see was Steve’s face, illuminated yellow, “Whatever you’re doing, it can be done in the morning.”

Steve looks up, with those big blue eyes that must prove that he is the ocean in their very own metaphor. And Javi had never believed in clichés, or love truly. But they were the type of eyes you could look in forever and never get bored. For tonight, they are rimmed red with exhaustion, only working to emphasize whirlwind shades of blue. And Steve, he almost has a smile on his face, in that lazy kind of way, the type that warms his soul more than any cigarette could do. Sometimes, he felt like he was being burnt alive. Tonight, it was warm like summer.

Javi puts on his jacket, throws Steve’s red one to him. Red like the whites of his eyes. And red like blood. “I s’pose you’re right,” Steve sighs, closing the file he was reading, downs the whiskey in two and a half gulps. Javi watches his throat as he tips his head back, sees the way it moves with each gulp, and counts. Two and a half. Javi had been a part of this scene before, he knows exactly how it goes every time. He drives them home, walk in to the apartment building, hug (maybe) and then go into separate dimensions. Nothing changes that, so, he ducks into the truck whilst a streetlamp flickers just down the street. On and off, light and dark. Steve hops in next to him, and Javi wonders which side they’ll be put on in history. On or off, light or dark.

He sighs, drives down bumpy roads. He can’t remember what American roads felt like anymore, but he remembers complaining about them too. There is no pleasing anyone in this world. Javi took the drive across near empty roads as a chance to openly watch Steve without being abhorrently open about it. And in the yellow glow, with his red jacket and blue eyes, Javi realised that Steve had been tainted by Colombia, the metallic taste on the back of his tongue unable to be burnt away by the cigarettes and alcohol. He’d become a part of something so big it was now him, through and through, changing his colours. Fading from the red, white and blue American values of diplomacy and freedom into Colombia’s yellow blue and red of urgency for vengeance and desperation for justice.

“Can we not go home yet?” Steve asks, in almost a whisper, and its so strained with tiredness that Javi almost feels pity for the man. Apart from the fact Javi is feeling the exact same way, “I’ve lived in this city for, like, years. And I still don’t know it.” He’s mumbling, staring out the window, but Javi could see his eyes in the window’s reflection. And no matter how tired he might sound, his eyes still moved erratically, as if waiting for something to pop out and kill them. Javi knows the feeling of the mind continuing at a hundred miles per hour long after the body has shut down. This was no different. “Take me somewhere nice, Javi.” The way Javi’s name floats off Steve’s lips, he swallows roughly, and turns a corner onto the road that leads out of Medellin. Nowhere was nice in Medellin since Escobar began his rule. Javi bites his tongue to say so much.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” Javi sighs, the streets lamps already disappearing as they move out of the centre of the city. So, Steve becomes a shadow, and they dissolve into nothingness. It’s just them and the air, the hum of the engine proof that it is real, even if everything feels fake.

The road swerves in sweeping curves, and rises higher and higher, the air thinning around them as they move at seventy miles per hour. But the windows are closed, so they only breathe in each other, and Javi can’t feel anything at all to give conclusive proof of how fast they are going. Only that they are, according to arbitrary units created by dead men. Everyday Javi feels like a dead man.

He stops the car in a layby.

“Where’s this,” Steve asks, pulling himself upright in his seat, to look out the windscreen where the entirety of Medellin is visible. Bright lights of the buildings being absorbed into the pure black of the hillsides that surrounded the city. One could almost feel it, the electrical energy of a city like no other in the world. There is no way to describe Colombia, you either visit or you simply don’t get it. There’s no other way to put it. Javi, he looks away, looks at the silhouette of Steve, and shuts off the engine.

“I dunno, just a place I come to think, reflect,” he shrugs, and Steve tips his head back, so that even in the dim light he can see glistening blue. And he still has that dumb smile trained on his lips, as if he’s totally contempt. “Young men will bring their whores up here and fuck them in their cars, as well.”

Steve laughs at that, a barking laugh that has Javi laughing too. And for the first time in years, he felt a glimpse of peace. Then they’re quiet again, and the hope evaporates as quickly as it condensates.

But they’re still looking at one another, despite the view outside, they can’t seem to look away. “Were you planning on making me one of your whores, Javi?” And his voice has a tone of seriousness that makes Javi unable to smile, but instead turn his throat dry. Neither of them even blink.

“Hmm,” Javi hums, low in his throat like a purr, and he sees Steve’s fingers twitch from the very corner of his eyes, “Well, now that you mention it…” He’s sure that if this backfires, he can it play off like a joke, like he always does. And Steve looks away for a second, so Javi opens his mouth to say something else, anything else.

But before he can the air is knocked out of his lungs, as Steve lunges forwards, and grabs a hold of Javi’s leather jacket, pulling him forwards so they are nose to nose, chest to chest. Javi could feel the heat of Steve’s heart through his t-shirt and onto his skin, infiltrating his bloodstream. Javi can feel his breath breeze over his lips, and he tries to taste it, in case he will never be able to again. “Sorry Peña, I don’t think you could afford me,” his voice deadly low and then Steve surges forwards, crashing his lips against Javi’s in a way of typical American desperation.

Javi doesn’t let himself be shocked for too long, but lets Steve push his tongue into his own mouth, so it slips along his teeth, so Javi can taste the whiskey as if he’d drank it himself as it burns his mouth. And Steve still holds onto Javi’s jacket, trying to pull him closer and getting frustrated when that doesn’t happen. Growling into Javi’s mouth, he pulls away, but not before pulling Javi’s bottom lip through his teeth like a goddamn animal, and then Javi’s mouth feels empty.

“Fucking come ‘ere,” Steve groans, smoothing his hands down to Javi’s hips, shifting him forwards and Javi understands exactly what he wants from that alone. Because they are one of the same, and Javi scrambles to across the gearstick and into Steve’s lap, whilst Steve tilts his seat back a little, so he’s laid back. And Javi leans down, captures Steve’s mouth with his own, and slows everything down a little, except his own heart, which echoes in his ears, obscuring his senses.

Javi licks his tongue over Steve’s lips, and then over the skin of his throat, his hot wet tongue leaving trails across pail skin, which turn cold as soon as his tongue moves on. Steve’s breath hitches right under Javi’s tongue, as if it had been ripped out of him. And Javi breaths out lowly, grabbing Steve’s face between both his hands, tilting his head up to look him in the eyes, so Javi can make sure that this isn’t a dream. Steve puts a hand on Javi’s wrist, just one, and is pulled upwards slightly because all Javi wants is to taste him, to be absorbed by him, to drown in his ocean whilst he continues pretending to have a use like the sand.

Steve liked to touch every part of Javi’s mouth with his tongue, probing his gums and moving across his teeth like a fucking toothbrush. And even more infuriatingly, Javi found his lips and tongue being bit at like Steve is a dog, and Javi’s reflexes wants him to pull back, but the heat, the dampness, it causes any pain to be wiped away. Javi lets himself be attacked by Murphy.

And he could feel himself getting more pliable too, Steve removing his jacket and placing icy cold hands under his shirt, making Javi want to flinch back further, but not daring to do so. He was not going to ruin his chances. But Murphy’s hands were just as unforgiving as his mouth was, and he dug his nails sharply into Javi’s waist, hands resting just above his hipbones and causing his skin to flare. Steve drags Javi’s hips down and forwards, and he thrusts his own hips upwards, only slightly, but enough so that they meet in the middle. Steve lets out a muted huff, his head pressing further back as he guides Javi’s body like he’s a fucking virgin.

Javi slaps Steve’s hands away, keeps rolling his hips, but only with delicate brushes across Steve’s crotch, “I can do it myself Murphy,” Javi mumbles, although his voice holds little authority when he’s trying to catch his breath and commit to memory anything his sense could detect. Both their breaths came out in ragged rises and falls of the ribcages. Not for a second had Steve lost his coy smile.

“Oh yeah?” Steve whispered, sounding so much more composed than he currently looked, with Javi awkwardly lying over him, and he could currently feel a semi in Steve’s in underwear, “Prove it.”

And well, that was enough for Javi.

He travels his lips down to Steve’s neck, brushing over his Adam’s apple, and using a hand to roughly force his chin upwards, keeping a hold on his jaw, fingernails digging in just below his ear, and making Steve squirm in defiance. And yelp, as Javi stabs incisor teeth into his neck, just above where it slopes into his shoulder. And Javi can taste the sound, can feel the shockwaves of it, and he rolls his hips slowly, so Steve continues to make any noise Javi can pull out of him. This time it was a low groan, as if this was paining him. Javi presses his hot tongue and wet lips to the red mark forming on Steve’s neck, where the arteries were dilating to try and meet Javi’s tongue and be poisoned by him directly.

Javi moves his hips in a slow, precise cycle, which was turning Steve to mush against his own fingertips. His breath was coming out ragged, like when someone is shot, and Javi chokes away any oxygen by reaching back up, placing his lips on Steve’s. He wanted this to last forever, he never wanted to move or for this to end or for Steve to leave him...

Except his back and thighs were aching, and he couldn’t do anything in his car, not tonight.

“Steve,” Javi whispers, pulling away, but only the bare minimum, so when he speaks his lips are still brushing against Steve’s. He removes his hand from Steve’s jaw, where his grip had been getting tighter and tighter, without Javi ever realising it. Or Steve complaining. Perhaps they were both using the sensation as a grounding tool, to remind one another that yes, this was real. They weren’t imagining this, not one bit, “Steve, I-“

“No,” Steve whispers, cutting Javi off as if he’s suddenly scared of what he’s going to hear, and later on, when Javi is alone in the aftermath of tonight, he will contemplate what Steve thought he was going to say at this moment. To cut him off so rapidly, Javi would only be able to come up with one answer, and he’ll almost laugh at the idea of it. Apart from when it ends up hitting him that maybe it’s true.

For now, Steve briefly slides his lips up and along Javi’s, and opens his eyes slowly, to look straight back at Javi, and the look almost hurts there is so much emotion behind it, “Don’t say it, not now.”

Javi nods, and in the haze of the car, where the windows were blocked out by steam, and a cigarette was burning in the compartment next to the inbuilt cigarette lighter, the one that never worked, so the smell of smoke, the smell of Steve, it was continuously being ingrained into the seats of Javi’s car. And it was swarming around him, so he presses his head into Steve’s shoulder, suddenly totally dizzy. “Let’s go home,” he mumbles, as he was going to say originally.

Steve presses a kiss into Javi’s hair, in a way that is so tender and soft that it stabs Javi’s heart, and he lifts his head, smiles in the same fashion as Steve has been all night, and slides back into the driver’s seat. With only a little bit of awkward fumbling, whilst Steve chuckles softly.

Driving home is interrupted by Steve getting impatient and sticking his tongue down Javi’s throat across the gearstick, the traffic lights originally red, but they break apart only when a car beeps it’s horn, so that they glide through green. And Javi uses his right hand to rub Steve through his jeans, whilst keeping his left firmly on the wheel. He still nearly crashes when Steve gasps his name out in particularly obscene fashion.

They reach their apartment building without any serious incidents, and Steve is out the car almost before Javi has stopped it entirely, and he finds himself smiling as he watches him scramble up the stairs towards their building.

The two of them crashes into Javi’s apartment a few seconds later, and Steve doesn’t wait for Javi to shut the door to press his lips onto Javi’s, hard, and push him up against the door so it clicks shut with a little more force than necessary.

He’s back to gnawing Javi’s bottom lip, causing Javi to squirm where he stood, and in an effort to bring Steve ever closer, he feels a thigh between his legs, and he grinds against it desperately, just as he can taste metal in his mouth, and feel the smell of blood fill his senses. But for once he isn’t terrified. And Steve’s laps the blood that barely trickles, so that it smears on his own lips and stains his tongue. When Steve pulls away for a second and Javi sees his own blood spread around his mouth and over pale skin, it’s sends a jolt of impulses all the way down to his dick, and it’s a sight he hopes to commit to memory.

And Steve grins with teeth that are slightly red, and that’s when Javi’s had enough of wearing clothes, so quickly shoves Steve backwards, missing the warmth between his legs, but knowing he’ll be receiving so much more once they reach the bedroom. He quickly pulls Steve inside, and pushes him onto the bed.

Right where Javi had been dreaming of having Steve from, well, the moment he met him.

“Take off your clothes,” Steve commands, voice firm but not stable, God it was far from it. It was low and rough, and it collided in the air with a power Javi himself could never emulate. He made you want to listen, and Javi definitely wasn’t going to ignore a request like that.

Javi lifts his shirts over his head instantly, and he looks straight at Steve, who is propped up on his elbows. But Javi can feel Steve’s gaze as well, so it heats up his entire body, and sends his heart into overdrive. He was hot like an oven, but the best he could do for Steve is give him a show. Now that he’s finally got the chance to do as much. He wasn’t going to waste a single second. And Steve doesn’t blink the entire time he’s looking at Javi, and for a second the thought passes him by that perhaps he in fact isn’t human, but a greater being sent down from a place Javier doesn’t believe in. That would be ironic, all things considered.

Javi unbuckles his belt, slowly, so the click could be heard in the room that holds so much tension that they don’t even dare to breath it in. And he slides it through each loop, until that drops on the floor too. “Sit up,” Javi demands, but his own imperative lacks the same depth that Steve’s did, with a tone that is less compelling, and a mannerism that can only be described as ‘Steve’ which Javier, and everyone else in the world, lacks. But Steve still listens, sitting upright. “And sit on the edge of the bed too.”

Whilst Steve shuffled forwards, Javier slips his shoes and socks off quickly, to avoid breaking the feeling in the room. The tension which tasted distinctly of sweat, and a cold draft. Javi knew that wouldn’t be a problem soon. When Steve is in position, Javi finds himself smiling wily, and stepping forwards, one foot over the other with a swing in his hips, and Steve watches him with chin lifted upwards and hooded eyes. Somewhere along the line, a cigarette had found itself lit and between Steve’s lips.

“You gonna help me out here?” Javi asks, once he is stood between his legs, and Steve’s hands slide to hold the back of Javi’s thighs, but Steve was still looking at Javi’s face, blinking slowly up at him. And then he brushes one hand up the back of his leg, and then up the front, until he presses down on Javi’s hard on, so he moans deep in his throat. And then Steve moves his hands a little further upwards, but stops when Javi chuckles slightly, “Be a bit more creative babe,” he murmurs, reaching downwards and plucking the cigarette out of Steve’s mouth, inhaling from it shallowly once, before letting it hang from his own lips, “No hands allowed.”

Steve runs his tongue over his teeth, and Javi follows the sight with his eyes, and then watches as Steve leans forwards, until his teeth emit a tinny clang as they grasp around the button of Javi’s jeans. And he twists his head around, pulls down hard suddenly, all whilst he holds his own hands behind his back. And after a few seconds, where Javi can feel Steve’s damp breath puff against his jeans, blowing over his cock, it becomes a little colder, because he’s finally followed his orders, and as with any law enforcement officer, he celebrates in completing the task, no matter how crude this one may be.

And Steve is quick to pull the zipper down, and Javi pulls the jeans down himself, leaving him in his underwear. And Steve was still fully clothed. That didn’t seem fair.

Fair disappeared from his mind as Steve pressed his tongue flat on Javi’s cock, still clothed, so saliva was absorbed into the clothing around his dick, and Javi wanted to buck his hips. He wanted to fucking choke Steve. Instead he gasped and tipped his head back, to try and remember how to breath again, whilst Steve’s tongue runs upwards, all the way to Javi’s belly button. And God does Javi squirm, his breathing coming out in quick stutters, especially when Steve picks the waistband of Javi’s boxers between his teeth and tugs them down in, one, two tries. So, they fall to the floor. And Javi is entirely exposed.

Until Steve wraps his lips around the head of Javi’s dick, without any warning so Javi’s knees nearly give out from under him and his whole brain goes entirely blank. He feels Steve’s tongue swirl around the tip, licking away any precum, and Javi just wants to go a bit further, to push it a little more.

But Steve is gone as soon as he was there, the fucking tease, and when Javi looks down, to tell him to not stop right as he was beginning. But Steve is still looking up at him, with those big blue eyes that makes Javi so fucking weak. And he takes a deep breath, that is tainted with smoke, and removes the withering cigarette from his lips, which Steve quickly takes back between his own fingers, having one last puff, before reaching just over his shoulder and putting it out on the dresser.

And despite Javi standing, naked, and Steve being with him in a way Javi had never imagined. Everything had managed to fall into a natural pattern. They’d seen the very worst of one another, they knew each other better than anyone else knew. So of course, this wasn’t weird, and it wasn’t this big thing Javi had built it to be in his head. It was only sex, and Javi knew a lot about ‘only sex.’

“You gonna stay fully clothed, or…?” Javi asks, crouching down slightly so he lifts the hem of Steve’s plain white shirt up, just a couple of inches. And Steve rolls his eyes, pulling it over his head with speed and ease. And then he lies back a little, inviting Javi closer with the way his shoulders relax, the way his eyes haven’t left Javi’s face since they crashed into the apartment. So Javi leans down, fumbles with Steve’s jeans, although with less effort admittedly, and then his jeans are on the floor, whilst Steve smirks, “See how much quicker things are when you don’t make them difficult, Peña.”

“Shut up Murphy,” Javi replies just as sharply. And Steve does shut up, as Javi swoops down to kiss him, hard. The taste of Steve was already beginning to be lost, and he never wanted to lose that. Javi never wanted to forget the sweat and the smoke and the whiskey that made up the majority of Steve. Their teeth clatter together, and Javi can feel the shockwaves absorb into his gum, and echo in his brain. But Javi enjoys the pain, it reminds him that this is, in fact, real.

And, without breaking apart, Steve pulls Javi down, so he’s led more or less on top of him. Except that doesn’t last long, as Steve rolls the two of them over, his breath puffing directly into Javi’s mouth, which Javi chases like the fucking drugs. And now it’s Steve that is straddling him, and now he has aggression in his eyes, like an animal that has finally caught its prey. And it makes Javi feel so much smaller than the minimal height difference suggests. It also makes Javi realise that he would do anything for Steve, which was a stark realisation in a sex fuelled thought, so he decided to store that one away. For the time being.

For now, Steve presses kisses down Javi’s neck, sometimes stopping to dig his teeth in a little too sharply, and then to suck around the skin to leave a mark the shape of his lips. And he continues down Javi’s chest, pressing his tongue to the left nipple, and then the right as well, so Javi can feel a fuzziness all the way in his toe, as his body jolts upwards ever so slightly. Steve laughs at such a reaction, but it’s so soft and the sound glides over Javi’s skin as well as into his ears, “Sensitive fuck,” he breathes.

Javi can only groan in response, and Steve continues to move his tongue down his body, his moustache tickling Javi’s skin as he dig his teeth into Javi’s body, just above his hipbones, so Javi has to bite his lip to avoid embarrassing himself any more than he has already, and he could still taste blood in his mouth, as a reminder of what Steve can do, and will do. Javi gets the feeling he’s only seen, and felt, half of what Steve is capable of. Maybe it shouldn’t, but that excites him ever so slightly.

Steve moves down again, putting both hands on Javi’s thighs, and moving his legs apart, and Javi watches Steve’s expression, and that alone makes his heart stop for a quick second, his eyes are so dark with dilated pupils, and his mouth hangs open every so slightly, and then he flicks his eyes up to look back at Javi, from under his eyelashes. “Ah fuck,” Javi mumbles with lack of better words, and Steve smirks at him.

Then, without another word, he ducks his head back down, and unapologetically slides his tongue over the rim of Javi, then up and over his balls and along the back of his cock, until his tongue was dry of saliva. And the heat and the wet and the sudden sensitivity sent Javi’s mind into meltdown, so his head was pressed into the sheets and his thighs spasmed ever so slightly. Steve, the dirty fucker, he knew exactly what he was doing, and it sent Javi wild.

“You got lube somewhere?” Steve asks, his voice rough in his throat, and instantly breaking Javi out of his haze. And he nods, swallowing roughly under Steve’s highly intense gaze which had returned quickly.

“Yeah, I just,” Javi mutters, as he twists his body and reaching into the bottom draw of the cabinet, pulling out the bottle, as well a pack of condoms, which Steve snatches out of his hands rather viscously, “Yeah.”

Steve smirks at the pack of condoms, as they unfold into a long line, as if he were a teenage boy or something, “How many of these are you thinking we’ll be getting through?” He asks, laughter just on the edge of his tongues, and amusement seeping into his words.

Javi rolled his eyes, and set his legs open an inch further, “Shut up and fuck me, Steve,” for Steve talks too much, and this had been going on too long. ‘That’ being the teasing and fleeting touches that lasted too many months, all of which added up to this moment. And Javi had had enough of the waiting.

“Anything you ask,” Steve replies, since he always seems to need to have the last word, and Javi really didn’t have time to complain, as before he had time to formulate a sentence, Steve had slipped a cold finger into him, which sent his mind entirely numb of anything coherent.

Before Javi was able to breathe or open his eyes, Steve’s mouth was back on his own, the heat of his mouth contrasting to the coolness of his fingers, and Javi caught his tongue in his mouth, and chased it upwards. Until Steve added a second finger, causing Javi to fling his head back onto the sheets, losing Steve’s mouth entirely. And in the room the only thing that can be heard is Javi’s sudden harsh breath, being absorbed into the walls and disappearing into the dark. Only Steve could hear this.

Steve traces the rise and fall of Javi’s ribs with his tongue, letting the very tip trace over his bones as he starts to pump his fingers, slowly at first, until Javi starts to move his hips to his pace. Then Steve begins to speed up and scissor his fingers out. With Steve’s tongue on his body and his fingers inside of him, Javi was beginning to feel entirely overwhelmed and completely ready to have Steve’s cock inside of him.

Then, Steve’s fingers reach his prostate, and Javi’s whole vision goes blank, bright white over his eyes for a couple of seconds, and he feels like he has been kicked in the stomach the way the air is ripped out of his lungs. And Steve’s tongue disappears, replaced by his voice, since he can’t be quiet for a single second.

“You like that Peña, huh?” He whispers, breath hot in Javi’s ear, where he has suddenly appeared from nowhere, “Oh, I’m gonna fuck you so good. You won’t be able to fucking walk.” Between the words and Javi moving his hips in desperation to reach that level of ecstasy again, Steve had removed his fingers, leaving Javi feeling entirely cold. “You won’t be able to sit without feeling pain in your thighs. And knowing that’s because of me. I’ll ruin your life Javier, and you’ll fucking love it.”

Steve’s voice is so low, and so quiet in Javi’s ear, as they were words for him and no one else in this city, or country, or globe.  However, Javi is unable to process them entirely in that moment, as Steve lined himself up with Javi, and he could feel his cock trace his rim, which left Javi twitching with anticipation. And then he pushed in, slowly, so slowly.

Sending Javi completely wild. He felt like his entire head had exploded, as the blood rushes around his body, leaving him tingling from his brain to his fingertips, all the way to his toes. Steve let out a low moan, his hands coming up to hold Javi’s biceps as he positioned himself. Javi himself, hooked his legs around Steve’s back in any attempt to draw him ever closer.

“Oh my, fuck,” Steve breathes, the words hitting and running across Javi’s skin like the ocean on the shore. And now, they were just as inseparable as those two entities. Javi himself moans, originally at the words, but the sounds that he cannot control increase as Steve slowly rocks his hips, so Javi’s mind was blank, and all he could hear Steve’s breathing and skin hitting skin in methodical slaps. And all he could taste was Steve, and when he finally opened his eyes which he hadn’t even realised had been closed in the complete bliss of the moment, it was Steve above him. With blond hair soaked with sweat, and his damn blue eyes.

Javi whimpers, reaches upwards to run his hands through Steve’s hair, and to drag his mouth down to his own. But as Steve began to move his hips faster, so his cock went deeper, they were unable to do anything other than breathe. So, when they kissed it was nothing more than a clash of lips and tongues, wildly moving over one another, whilst Javi started bucking his own hips. Meeting Steve’s perfectly, there was a choked cry in his throat which came out as Steve finally hit his spot, his voice ripping into the open air.

And Steve pulled away, throwing his head back as he rammed into Javi with increasing speed, and consistently reaching where Javi was most sensitive, he could no longer control his own movement himself. “Shit, Javi, holy fucking shit,” Steve growled, his voice so low and stuck in his throat, so it came out in disjointed vowels and consonants. He knew, by American standard, that Steve gargling out profanities meant he was coming close. Javi himself could feel the heat build up in his stomach, and his own hips move without consciousness thought, his entire body going into overdrive.

Javi had to touch something, as he can feel himself being pushed over the edge. And with one hand pumping his cock at the same pace of Steve’s own thrusts, Javi digs his nails into Steve’s back, tries to pull him closer. Tries to feel as much as he can of him inside of him, in case this is the only time.

“Ah,” Steve gasps, his eyes scrunched closed as he progressively increasing pace, the sound of skin overpowering everything else in the room, unless it’s Steve’s voice, which rings loud and clear in Javi’s ears, “Fu- fuck.”

And that’s when Steve comes, and Javi watches his face, as it scrunches up and then his jaw goes slack and eyes go wide, eyes which were pure black with dilated pupils and looking right at Javi.

And that’s when Javi comes himself, with Steve’s erratic movements still not quiet under control, and with his heart breaking his ribs as it beats so hard against the bones. For Steve, everything is for Steve. Cum covers Javi’s stomach and chest, and he can feel Steve’s name on his lips, but cannot hear anything over the ringing in his ears. The world was going dizzy around him, and all Javi can see and smell was Steve, hanging over him like the weeping willow. He was entirely overwhelmed, and he loved how that felt, to be surrounded by the only person he truly cares about.

He can feel the fog disappear from his mind, just as Steve removes himself from Javi, ties the knot on the condom, and throws it away in the bin next to the bed. Simple as.

And then he rolls away, collapsing on his back next to Javi.

Both were still breathing heavily, chest rising up towards the stars in the sky, and falling back down again. And when Javi turns his head, he sees Steve, lying with one hand strewn across his forehead, and staring at the ceiling. Unblinking. It would almost be disturbing if Javi wasn’t semi in-love with the man. Which is an awful thought. Javi tries to swallow it back down into weightless words, but they settle on his shoulders still, and suddenly he finds himself lost once again.

“You got a smoke?” Steve asks, voice cracking the ice of an enduring silence, and he turns to look back at Javi. And the way his eyes show the tiny trickles of softness in a time when he’s seen so much that that may have made that impossible, it caused Javi’s heart leap a couple of paces faster. Javi swallows, then nods. Because its all he’s able to do all of a sudden.

So, he turns over, reaches on the floor next to the bed, where he picks up his pack of cigarettes. There were boxes all over the house, and it was just luck that Javi had been able to find them there. He was finding out that he night was full of luck, and therefore he may as well test it.

He lights the cigarette, takes his own drag from it, despite a disgruntled mutter from Steve that it was supposed to be his, and then passes it over to the impatient man. “So, Murphy,” Javi starts, trying to sound authoritative in a moment when he was at his most vulnerable. He felt stupid for it, but it got Steve’s attention, “You staying the night? Promise, I don’t kick.”

Steve smiles from around the smoke that filters around him, and Javi’s eyes can’t help but to track across his bare skin, to take it in again and again in case it was about to be ripped away from him with a couple of words alone.

For today, those words were not going to come.

“Sure, Peña. Just for tonight, I’ll stay.”

Javi’s heart swells. He can feel his entire chest explode, and his ribs pierce his skin in the process.

And its everything he’s ever wanted as Steve leans in and kisses him, painfully and delightfully slow. Javi hopes this never ends, but knows hope is useless in this place. So he kisses Steve back, and knows if this only lasts a second longer, it’ll be a second worth savouring.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So I actually wrote this a month ago but only found the time to edit it and get it up well, now. Originally this was going to be a long collection of fics, but I really don't have the time to commit to that. So I may write more Narcos, but it's unlikely. You can find me on tumblr, my url is fuck-football, although you will mostly find Arsenal and Napoli there, not Narcos lol... Anyway enjoy your lives!! Hope you enjoyed!!


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